After playing with Shaimus for over 4 years, the music naturally starts to feel different. I am no longer fretting [pun intended] about which note comes next, trying not to forget chords, or estimating where to place my next note so it will gracefully line up with Cam. In songs like “Left To Dry” and “All Of This”, these elements have long ago been committed to muscle memory and are at this point so ingrained that they have actually become a part of my persona.

I love playing this music. In fact, with years of repetition comes a level of confidence and comfort that has literally changed and developed me from “that guy that plays jazz piano but is okay on bass” to “the bass player in Shaimus”. On some level I always wanted to be a “rock star” but I was never sure how to accomplish that as a studio engineer or jazz keyboard player. Coincidentally, Shaimus took me on this crazy ride.

I don’t have tattoos, shoot heroin, drive motorcycles down hotel hallways or sleep with hundreds of women, as the “traditional” rock star label would suggest. I do, however, refuse to accept the realities that most 27-year olds take comfort in, or have at least made peace with by now: Financial stability, health insurance, 401Ks, raises, promotions, building their careers, etc. In short, performing with gusto in the “grind” or “rat race” in the hopes at the end of the corporate rainbow lies a pot of gold that will free us of the shackles of the day job and allow our spirits to truly soar. (Read: retire rich and play golf all day)

And what’s not to love? It’s comforting to be comfortable, so I gave this alternate reality an honest shot: For 2 years I worked full-time in a fairly creative and challenging position. The company builds websites for clients wishing to sell goods or services on the internet. This has always been a hobby of mine so I learned more than I can imagine about the technology, and at times it was very interesting and even exciting. My co-workers were wonderful, my superiors were respectable and inspiring, my salary was decent, the opportunities for growth were plentiful.

Then I quit. (For reference, this was a little over a year ago.)

I had started to see myself in 10-15 years sitting at a similar desk, driving a much nicer car and perhaps owning a house, but the thought of submitting to this reality was absolutely terrifying. Whether this qualifies me as a “rock star” or just a disillusioned moron is not for me to decide. But I do believe that the path of Shaimus, however murky and hidden it can seem at times, is most certainly a more interesting way for me to live my life. And what can we do besides keep ourselves interested? Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Things that are truly worth doing take thousands of hours and years of hard work, but who knows, you might actually have fun while doing them! For whatever reason, I’ll take that over financial stability. Luckily, I don’t have children.

Photos: Mike Tabolsky and BlankLogo Photography, respectively.